I am so sorry, my dear Brother Pastor, that it hurt so much!
I didn’t know you but my heart broke when I read of your passing. I fought back the tears. I can’t relate to the depression and mental health issues you were facing, but I do know the load of ministry you would have been carrying. A joy and a privilege, a call you would exchange for nothing else this world has to offer, but a load nonetheless. I know the burden of others’ burdens you would have borne.
It broke your heart when another marriage failed on your watch; another body riddled with cancer, finally succumbed to it, despite your prayers for healing. You waited and watched for that prodigal who chose to walk away despite your best efforts. You preached your best sermon ever only to be moaned and groaned at because the service didn't meet with someone's personal preference.
You looked at the list of demands and expectations before you - the voices, the calls, the tugs in this direction and that- all while your greatest and first call risked being neglected, the call to your wife and sons. Your wife is carrying the load alongside you - you wish she didn’t have to but she is. Your boys are growing up faster than you are able to keep up. Guilt piling up!
Brother Pastor, I get you. Non-pastors won’t, but I do. Non-pastoral families won’t, but we do. Brother Pastor, I am sorry that you felt you failed as a leader, as a pastor, as a husband, as a dad.
Please know that your life meant something. Please know that a broken heart was mended because of what you said; a lost soul found grace and forgiveness because of your direction; a marriage was saved because of your counsel. You had the smile of Papa God upon you as you did your best to serve Him and His people.
I didn’t know you or your precious family, but my heart aches for all of you.
Brother Pastor, I am sorry that it hurt so much.
Rest In Peace Friend.
(Are you or a friend struggling with depression? Please reach out for help! If you need to speak to someone (and you are in Australia, call Lifeline on 131114) Also find some great
)